What Everyone Is Saying About Adult Dating

If you’ve heard the myths about adult dating, you’re likely to be put off. Here are the biggest myths everyone is saying about adult dating, and the real truth behind them!

Adult dating – it’s naughty, dirty, seedy, only there as a way for married men to cheat on their wives, and stupid young lads to sow their wild oats. We’ve all heard the myths about adult dating, right? Those dirty little things that people say about it – people that have probably never tried it, or enjoyed the delights it can bring, ever before in their lives. It’s funny how people that haven’t actually tried it can have such an opinion on things, isn’t it?

Here are the biggest and best myths I’ve come across as I’ve chosen to adult date, and the REAL truth behind them…

“Women can’t do NSA sex. It’s not in their nature.”

Really? It isn’t in our nature? I met a guy in a popular mid-city Cape Town bar three nights ago and took him home for a night of the hottest, sweatiest, mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had… We didn’t exchange numbers, and I’m pretty sure he said he didn’t live around here. I have no intentions of seeing him again, yet I had sex with him. What was it those other people said? Women can’t do NSA or casual sex? I’m living proof that they can, surely?

Not all the girls out there are looking for hearts and flowers, chocolates and big romantic gestures. Some of us need a good hard screwing just like you guys do, in fact more so sometimes. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m going to fall in love with you and want to have your children.

“Relationships can’t be started from NSA sex…”

Well, once again, this is a myth. Take my friend Amie, for example. She met her “better half” (as she calls him) on a South African adult dating, no strings attached dating website four years ago. They have been married for two years and are currently expecting their first child. Again, this is a prime example of how easily misconstrued adult dating can be.

Just because the people looking for casual sex don’t want to settle down, doesn’t mean they won’t always want to settle down. If you’re the perfect people for each other, of course it will work. Amie and her better half had great luck and great timing… It just goes to show that things can go either way.

“Adult daters spread diseases”

Actually this is most definitely not true, and in fact, this statement makes me incredibly mad. This was a comment left on an adult dating blog I came across, and I left a furious rebuttal, as you can probably imagine.

Adult daters spread diseases? What a ridiculous thing for someone to say. Adult daters know better than anyone the dangers of STI’s and unsafe sex… That’s why they are better at it, and have even managed to make putting on a condom look sexy! Maybe it’s those non-adult daters that should be taking tips from the adult daters?

I’ve heard a lot of things from friends, family, work colleagues, and even people I don’t know as I’ve made my way through South African dating websites, clubs, bars, supermarkets, and even gyms picking up men that I have the best and horniest sex with… I like to think I’m as good a person as any to put an end to the lies and taboo subjects. What do you think? Are there any you think I may have missed out? I’m sure this will create a debate 😉

Oops Casual Sex Dating Mistakes How To Avoid Them

We all make mistakes in the dating world – that’s the whole point of it. You make mistakes and learn from them, going on ahead to have better, more fulfilling relationships and sexual dalliances. That’s the idea anyway… Many of us simply don’t learn from our mistakes.

As a 30-something woman living in South Africa, I have made many dating mistakes, especially on my quest to find someone cool and casual to date. In between enjoying the sun, exploring my beautiful country, trying to maintain a busy working schedule and still having enough time to see the family and keep them happy, I don’t really have time for a “real” relationship. This is the thing about casual dating – it’s not the same as “real” dating, as in dating to find that happy-ever-after… That’s something I wish someone would have told me right at the beginning.

As a single woman, having a fair amount of sexual partners will get you branded with some rather nasty names. This is the first lesson you learn – the first mistake that a lot of men and women make when they delve into the complicated world of casual sex dating. Who’d have thought that sex would have been just as political as relationships?

Woman's Hands On Wet Skin

This is the first lesson you should learn – be discreet!

What’s the point in shouting about last night’s conquest? You may have met that beautiful man in the Cape Town city center night club and taken him home, but you probably won’t have any intentions of seeing him again, so what’s the point in talking about it? It’s certainly not something you are going to want to bring up with your family or respectable friends… casual dating is something that not everyone accepts.

The second lesson you should learn – broaden your horizons!

I’ve mentioned meeting a guy in a bar and having a great night with him, but there are so many other places that you can meet men (and women) looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex in South Africa. For example, there are a whole host of websites dedicated to finding horny men and women the partner they are looking for… without all the hassle of being open and honest about what they are actually looking for. If you are both on a nsa sex dating site, you are both looking for casual dating, AKA casual sex. What’s the point in opting for the “regular” run-of-the-mill dating websites? You aren’t looking for love, you’re looking for great sex, right?

You could meet the hottest, cutest men and women in the biggest and best South African nightclubs, bars and pubs, but let’s be honest about this; no man is going to openly admit to a woman on the first night they have met that he is just looking for sex tonight. To be honest, the chances of a female offering the same information on the “first date” is slim to none. At least with these casual sex and casual dating websites, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. There are no misinterpretations, no misread signs, and no mixed messages.

There are a lot of things about casual dating and casual sex relationships that aren’t like “regular” relationships, and this is often overlooked information when you attempt to try your hand at it for the first few times. The trick is to be discreet, be classy and above all else, have fun. What’s the point in doing it otherwise? 😉

5 Things That Wont Happen On Sex Dates

A sex date – the easy way of dating with no commitment, no fluff, and no misleading over-analyzing. These are the biggest things that probably won’t happen on your sex dates!

Let’s face things with a head-on approach here, shall we? Sex dates aren’t the same as “regular” dates… I mean, yes there’s the nervousness that you’d have on a first date, but that’s excited butterflies as you know you will be taking that person home later on, and there’s a good chance you’ll be ripping their shirt clean off with your teeth. But at the same time, sex dates, NSA dates, casual dates; whatever it is that you want to call them, are very different.

1 – It doesn’t really matter anyway…

For most women, well for me anyway, it doesn’t really matter what you do on this sex date, as long as you aren’t an idiot, getting drunk and running all the way around Port Elizabeth with your trousers around your ankles, or look significantly different from your profile picture. It doesn’t matter if there are moments where you fall over, or slip over on your own trousers.

When I asked a male friend that I haven’t slept with, but been with on casual dates, he said pretty much the same thing. Guys who are looking for girls for sex, don’t generally mind what you’re like, as long as you put out later on and don’t make a complete fool of yourself.

So, be yourself is the moral of the story. Be yourself, and don’t be an idiot.


2 – They won’t want breakfast…

Again, when asking both sexes, the general consensus is that they would rather wake up to find their date gone, than make breakfast and indulge in small talk. I’m exactly the same. Waking up alone with a scribbled “thank you” on the back of an envelope is all I need. A cheeky phone number might even get you a callback if you were good enough last night. I don’t even really need your name.

Most of the casual dates I’ve been on have resulted in me waking up to an empty bed. I like the “thank you” note… It’s amazing how few men actually do it. That’s a hint guys!

3 – Age doesn’t come into it…

I’ve slept with older men, younger men, and men my own age. When asking around the friends I have that enjoy NSA dating, they work in the same pattern. If the sexual chemistry is there, it’s there. It doesn’t matter how many years are between you. I’ve had the best sex of my life with both a 45 year old man, and a 19 year old lad. Age is just a number. You’ll be amazed at the age differences that can go on in casual dating.

4 – You won’t have to hide…

Your inhibitions? You can say goodbye to those when you go on a casual sex date. When I don’t think I’m going to see the person again, I don’t care what happens between the sheets. Who cares if I let him put it in my ass, even though that’s not what good girls do? Who cares if I accidentally shout out bad words right as a I climax, dragging my nails down his rippling back as I do so? It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to see them again. And if you do, it’s just an added bonus!

It works both ways – men AND women are more likely to do things they wouldn’t do with a “regular” partner when they go on casual sex dates. That’s the whole point of going on a sex date in the first place – to get your rocks off! 😉

5 – You won’t remember “real life”…

The wife you may have at home? There’s a good chance you won’t remember her later on tonight. The boyfriend you’ve left in your bed looking after the puppy he bought you? Yeah, you probably won’t be thinking about him later. For some people, the act of casual dating and NSA dates, especially when you are already in a relationship, is the act of relief because something is missing from your home life. That’s why you can’t stay the night. That’s what you don’t want to know their name or phone number. In fact, it doesn’t matter what your real life” is, whether it’s a partner, money troubles, stress or work issues, you won’t remember; you’ll be having mind-blowing sex with someone that quite literally won’t cause you any hassle at all.

What’s not to love about that?