Oops Casual Sex Dating Mistakes How To Avoid Them

We all make mistakes in the dating world – that’s the whole point of it. You make mistakes and learn from them, going on ahead to have better, more fulfilling relationships and sexual dalliances. That’s the idea anyway… Many of us simply don’t learn from our mistakes.

As a 30-something woman living in South Africa, I have made many dating mistakes, especially on my quest to find someone cool and casual to date. In between enjoying the sun, exploring my beautiful country, trying to maintain a busy working schedule and still having enough time to see the family and keep them happy, I don’t really have time for a “real” relationship. This is the thing about casual dating – it’s not the same as “real” dating, as in dating to find that happy-ever-after… That’s something I wish someone would have told me right at the beginning.

As a single woman, having a fair amount of sexual partners will get you branded with some rather nasty names. This is the first lesson you learn – the first mistake that a lot of men and women make when they delve into the complicated world of casual sex dating. Who’d have thought that sex would have been just as political as relationships?

Woman's Hands On Wet Skin

This is the first lesson you should learn – be discreet!

What’s the point in shouting about last night’s conquest? You may have met that beautiful man in the Cape Town city center night club and taken him home, but you probably won’t have any intentions of seeing him again, so what’s the point in talking about it? It’s certainly not something you are going to want to bring up with your family or respectable friends… casual dating is something that not everyone accepts.

The second lesson you should learn – broaden your horizons!

I’ve mentioned meeting a guy in a bar and having a great night with him, but there are so many other places that you can meet men (and women) looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex in South Africa. For example, there are a whole host of websites dedicated to finding horny men and women the partner they are looking for… without all the hassle of being open and honest about what they are actually looking for. If you are both on a nsa sex dating site, you are both looking for casual dating, AKA casual sex. What’s the point in opting for the “regular” run-of-the-mill dating websites? You aren’t looking for love, you’re looking for great sex, right?

You could meet the hottest, cutest men and women in the biggest and best South African nightclubs, bars and pubs, but let’s be honest about this; no man is going to openly admit to a woman on the first night they have met that he is just looking for sex tonight. To be honest, the chances of a female offering the same information on the “first date” is slim to none. At least with these casual sex and casual dating websites, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. There are no misinterpretations, no misread signs, and no mixed messages.

There are a lot of things about casual dating and casual sex relationships that aren’t like “regular” relationships, and this is often overlooked information when you attempt to try your hand at it for the first few times. The trick is to be discreet, be classy and above all else, have fun. What’s the point in doing it otherwise? 😉

Thousands Of People Reveal What Really Turns Them On About NSA Sex

With thousands of people looking for NSA sex, its time to look at what really works about it… what really turns them on!

These days, we don’t have time for proper relationships, right? We have busy work schedules to try and maintain, family to see, places to explore, people to see, etc. By the time most of us have come home from work, cooked ourselves a spot of dinner, and had a shower, it’s so late, the only thing left to do is crawl into bed at the end of a long day, and enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep. Well,… that’s what we try to do anyway, right?

What about those people that don’t want to settle for crawling into bed alone at the end of a long day? What about those people that want someone to have great, fulfilling, passionate sex with at the end of a long day? If they don’t have time to fit in a relationship, does it mean that they don’t have time to fit in sex?

It hardly seems fair, does it?

Take Jane, for example. She works in busy Cape Town and needs to drive at least an hour to get home every night. She works five, sometimes six days per week, trying to better her career, and she doesn’t have any kids, and isn’t married. When she gets home on a Friday night, she isn’t looking for someone to cuddle up with, cook breakfast for in the morning, and have small talk with over brunch. She doesn’t have time for that. She’s looking for someone that she can use and abuse – someone that makes life easy for her. He’s in, he’s out, and no one is making anyone breakfast. That’s what she’s looking for… I asked her why?

“I use a casual dating website. It’s hard work finding guys in bars because once you tell them you are looking for NSA fun, they lose respect for you. I’m not degrading myself with casual sex… It’s fulfilling a need. Just like guys go to prostitutes!”

In Jane’s situation, NSA sex is a turn on because she gets exactly what she needs, without needing to worry about the relationship afterwards. She simply doesn’t have time for all that fluff.

Sandy, on the other hand, has plenty of time on her hands. She’s 30-something, works part time, doesn’t have any kids either, but isn’t looking for a relationship. She was married before but now, she wants to be young, free and single… while still enjoying the benefits of sex. Again, I asked her why she chose casual dating/sex?

“You can do whatever you want when you aren’t going to see the guy again. Even if you are, that’s all you want from each other – sex. You can do things that you wouldn’t have done with your husband or long term partner, and even if your casual partner does raise an eyebrow, you can pass them over and look for another one… It’s like fantasy fulfillment!”

In Sandy’s case, she was looking for someone to explore ALL of her sexual needs. She wanted to try all those things she never had the balls to try with her ex-husband – things like anal sex, exhibitionism and more. There’s a lot less pressure to do things the “right” way when you have no intentions of long term dating the person you are enjoying in the bedroom, and you will be more likely to have the kind of sex you want, rather then just having sex because you’re “meant to” in a partnership. She signed up with a site called girlsforsex.co.za – yeah right – no beating about the bush (excuse the pun) there then!

Of course, you can’t take into account the female perspective without taking into account the male one also. I spoke to one of Jane’s “conquests” and asked him what he liked about NSA sex… To be honest, the response was exactly what we thought it might be:

“NSA sex is perfect. You can have sex with multiple women. One woman might be great at giving head while another is great at doing it doggy style. You get the best of EVERY world – it’s as though there are no real limits!”

With more and more people opting for more casual styles of dating all over the world and not just within South Africa, it makes sense that more and more casual dating debits are popping up. After all, there wouldn’t be a demand for them otherwise, would there? Why not have a look yourself and see what naughty stuff you can get up to?

5 Things That Wont Happen On Sex Dates

A sex date – the easy way of dating with no commitment, no fluff, and no misleading over-analyzing. These are the biggest things that probably won’t happen on your sex dates!

Let’s face things with a head-on approach here, shall we? Sex dates aren’t the same as “regular” dates… I mean, yes there’s the nervousness that you’d have on a first date, but that’s excited butterflies as you know you will be taking that person home later on, and there’s a good chance you’ll be ripping their shirt clean off with your teeth. But at the same time, sex dates, NSA dates, casual dates; whatever it is that you want to call them, are very different.

1 – It doesn’t really matter anyway…

For most women, well for me anyway, it doesn’t really matter what you do on this sex date, as long as you aren’t an idiot, getting drunk and running all the way around Port Elizabeth with your trousers around your ankles, or look significantly different from your profile picture. It doesn’t matter if there are moments where you fall over, or slip over on your own trousers.

When I asked a male friend that I haven’t slept with, but been with on casual dates, he said pretty much the same thing. Guys who are looking for girls for sex, don’t generally mind what you’re like, as long as you put out later on and don’t make a complete fool of yourself.

So, be yourself is the moral of the story. Be yourself, and don’t be an idiot.


2 – They won’t want breakfast…

Again, when asking both sexes, the general consensus is that they would rather wake up to find their date gone, than make breakfast and indulge in small talk. I’m exactly the same. Waking up alone with a scribbled “thank you” on the back of an envelope is all I need. A cheeky phone number might even get you a callback if you were good enough last night. I don’t even really need your name.

Most of the casual dates I’ve been on have resulted in me waking up to an empty bed. I like the “thank you” note… It’s amazing how few men actually do it. That’s a hint guys!

3 – Age doesn’t come into it…

I’ve slept with older men, younger men, and men my own age. When asking around the friends I have that enjoy NSA dating, they work in the same pattern. If the sexual chemistry is there, it’s there. It doesn’t matter how many years are between you. I’ve had the best sex of my life with both a 45 year old man, and a 19 year old lad. Age is just a number. You’ll be amazed at the age differences that can go on in casual dating.

4 – You won’t have to hide…

Your inhibitions? You can say goodbye to those when you go on a casual sex date. When I don’t think I’m going to see the person again, I don’t care what happens between the sheets. Who cares if I let him put it in my ass, even though that’s not what good girls do? Who cares if I accidentally shout out bad words right as a I climax, dragging my nails down his rippling back as I do so? It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to see them again. And if you do, it’s just an added bonus!

It works both ways – men AND women are more likely to do things they wouldn’t do with a “regular” partner when they go on casual sex dates. That’s the whole point of going on a sex date in the first place – to get your rocks off! 😉

5 – You won’t remember “real life”…

The wife you may have at home? There’s a good chance you won’t remember her later on tonight. The boyfriend you’ve left in your bed looking after the puppy he bought you? Yeah, you probably won’t be thinking about him later. For some people, the act of casual dating and NSA dates, especially when you are already in a relationship, is the act of relief because something is missing from your home life. That’s why you can’t stay the night. That’s what you don’t want to know their name or phone number. In fact, it doesn’t matter what your real life” is, whether it’s a partner, money troubles, stress or work issues, you won’t remember; you’ll be having mind-blowing sex with someone that quite literally won’t cause you any hassle at all.

What’s not to love about that?