Oops Casual Sex Dating Mistakes How To Avoid Them

We all make mistakes in the dating world – that’s the whole point of it. You make mistakes and learn from them, going on ahead to have better, more fulfilling relationships and sexual dalliances. That’s the idea anyway… Many of us simply don’t learn from our mistakes.

As a 30-something woman living in South Africa, I have made many dating mistakes, especially on my quest to find someone cool and casual to date. In between enjoying the sun, exploring my beautiful country, trying to maintain a busy working schedule and still having enough time to see the family and keep them happy, I don’t really have time for a “real” relationship. This is the thing about casual dating – it’s not the same as “real” dating, as in dating to find that happy-ever-after… That’s something I wish someone would have told me right at the beginning.

As a single woman, having a fair amount of sexual partners will get you branded with some rather nasty names. This is the first lesson you learn – the first mistake that a lot of men and women make when they delve into the complicated world of casual sex dating. Who’d have thought that sex would have been just as political as relationships?

Woman's Hands On Wet Skin

This is the first lesson you should learn – be discreet!

What’s the point in shouting about last night’s conquest? You may have met that beautiful man in the Cape Town city center night club and taken him home, but you probably won’t have any intentions of seeing him again, so what’s the point in talking about it? It’s certainly not something you are going to want to bring up with your family or respectable friends… casual dating is something that not everyone accepts.

The second lesson you should learn – broaden your horizons!

I’ve mentioned meeting a guy in a bar and having a great night with him, but there are so many other places that you can meet men (and women) looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex in South Africa. For example, there are a whole host of websites dedicated to finding horny men and women the partner they are looking for… without all the hassle of being open and honest about what they are actually looking for. If you are both on a nsa sex dating site, you are both looking for casual dating, AKA casual sex. What’s the point in opting for the “regular” run-of-the-mill dating websites? You aren’t looking for love, you’re looking for great sex, right?

You could meet the hottest, cutest men and women in the biggest and best South African nightclubs, bars and pubs, but let’s be honest about this; no man is going to openly admit to a woman on the first night they have met that he is just looking for sex tonight. To be honest, the chances of a female offering the same information on the “first date” is slim to none. At least with these casual sex and casual dating websites, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. There are no misinterpretations, no misread signs, and no mixed messages.

There are a lot of things about casual dating and casual sex relationships that aren’t like “regular” relationships, and this is often overlooked information when you attempt to try your hand at it for the first few times. The trick is to be discreet, be classy and above all else, have fun. What’s the point in doing it otherwise? 😉

Thousands Of People Reveal What Really Turns Them On About NSA Sex

With thousands of people looking for NSA sex, its time to look at what really works about it… what really turns them on!

These days, we don’t have time for proper relationships, right? We have busy work schedules to try and maintain, family to see, places to explore, people to see, etc. By the time most of us have come home from work, cooked ourselves a spot of dinner, and had a shower, it’s so late, the only thing left to do is crawl into bed at the end of a long day, and enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep. Well,… that’s what we try to do anyway, right?

What about those people that don’t want to settle for crawling into bed alone at the end of a long day? What about those people that want someone to have great, fulfilling, passionate sex with at the end of a long day? If they don’t have time to fit in a relationship, does it mean that they don’t have time to fit in sex?

It hardly seems fair, does it?

Take Jane, for example. She works in busy Cape Town and needs to drive at least an hour to get home every night. She works five, sometimes six days per week, trying to better her career, and she doesn’t have any kids, and isn’t married. When she gets home on a Friday night, she isn’t looking for someone to cuddle up with, cook breakfast for in the morning, and have small talk with over brunch. She doesn’t have time for that. She’s looking for someone that she can use and abuse – someone that makes life easy for her. He’s in, he’s out, and no one is making anyone breakfast. That’s what she’s looking for… I asked her why?

“I use a casual dating website. It’s hard work finding guys in bars because once you tell them you are looking for NSA fun, they lose respect for you. I’m not degrading myself with casual sex… It’s fulfilling a need. Just like guys go to prostitutes!”

In Jane’s situation, NSA sex is a turn on because she gets exactly what she needs, without needing to worry about the relationship afterwards. She simply doesn’t have time for all that fluff.

Sandy, on the other hand, has plenty of time on her hands. She’s 30-something, works part time, doesn’t have any kids either, but isn’t looking for a relationship. She was married before but now, she wants to be young, free and single… while still enjoying the benefits of sex. Again, I asked her why she chose casual dating/sex?

“You can do whatever you want when you aren’t going to see the guy again. Even if you are, that’s all you want from each other – sex. You can do things that you wouldn’t have done with your husband or long term partner, and even if your casual partner does raise an eyebrow, you can pass them over and look for another one… It’s like fantasy fulfillment!”

In Sandy’s case, she was looking for someone to explore ALL of her sexual needs. She wanted to try all those things she never had the balls to try with her ex-husband – things like anal sex, exhibitionism and more. There’s a lot less pressure to do things the “right” way when you have no intentions of long term dating the person you are enjoying in the bedroom, and you will be more likely to have the kind of sex you want, rather then just having sex because you’re “meant to” in a partnership. She signed up with a site called girlsforsex.co.za – yeah right – no beating about the bush (excuse the pun) there then!

Of course, you can’t take into account the female perspective without taking into account the male one also. I spoke to one of Jane’s “conquests” and asked him what he liked about NSA sex… To be honest, the response was exactly what we thought it might be:

“NSA sex is perfect. You can have sex with multiple women. One woman might be great at giving head while another is great at doing it doggy style. You get the best of EVERY world – it’s as though there are no real limits!”

With more and more people opting for more casual styles of dating all over the world and not just within South Africa, it makes sense that more and more casual dating debits are popping up. After all, there wouldn’t be a demand for them otherwise, would there? Why not have a look yourself and see what naughty stuff you can get up to?

How To Get Casual Sex When You Want It

The truth on how and where to get casual sex in South Africa without needing to trawl bars for drunk girls and guys…

Ever wondered how those men and women manage to go out and get casual sex whenever they damn well feel like it? I was always hearing from male friends about how they went out to a Port Elizabeth club, “pulled” this super-fit chick, took her home, ravaged her something rotten, and then kicked her out before the morning light even hit, without even the slightest mention of ever seeing or speaking to them again.

Once upon a time, I used to wonder how these guys did stuff like that, and it was only when I ventured into the world of casual sex, and how to get it, that I realized it wasn’t just guys doing the dirty, it would seem.

Casual sex is something that often proves quite difficult to get your hands on. Some guys, for example, may think it’s immoral to take home a random, drunk hot chick home from the local Cape Town bar they happened to bounce into that night. Believe it or not, there are guys that don’t believe in this way of finding casual sex… There are some good guys out there after all, it would appear! 🙂

At the same time, the ladies aren’t entirely comfortable with the idea of taking a random guy home from a club… They are never sure whether they are the real deal or an axe murderer/weirdo/mugger/etc.

To be fair, it’s not the kind of conversation you can have in a busy night club, is it?

“Hi fit chick, what are you up to once the club kicks out? I only live around the corner in Hout Bay, and I’d love to take you home for the night. NSA… What do you think?”

It’s hardly a conversation that would go down well with a respectable young lady, is it? Well, perhaps not respectable but you don’t know that yet!

Of course, as much as you may think that taking a drunk girl home might be immoral, striking up a conversation with her is not. You might not want to take her home tonight, because of the situation, but if you give it a couple of days and let her get over her hangover, and that beautiful wild child might just be the girl you are looking for. Just because you’re not interested tonight, doesn’t mean that you won’t be interested, and you won’t get what you want, at a later date. There’s no harm in swapping numbers, and if it turns out that she’s in a relationship/looking for a relationship/not looking for NSA fun, you can respectfully decline the date invitation and move on.

The internet is the perfect place to start when it comes to looking for casual sex or NSA fun in South Africa. And before you argue that a lot of the websites are scams, they aren’t. You just need to pay attention to WHAT sites you are signing up to. If it looks a bit dodgy, it probably is. That’s all I’m saying.

These websites are SPECIFICALLY designed to help men and women looking for NSA, casual sex in South Africa… What’s the point in them being there to help you and you not using them? All it takes is a few minutes of sign-up questions and you’ll be looking through hot foxes and delicious ab-ed men, all waiting to be used and abused by you tonight… One of my favourites is a site called Looking For Sex – which is full of guys and girls looking for action in South Africa! What are you waiting for?

7 Facts About Adult Dating Thatll Keep You Up At Night

Adult dating – the seven facts that will surprise you and keep you awake at night. You’ll be surprised at what I unearthed…

I know why you’re here. You know why you’re here. What’s the point in any of us pretending that you’re not looking for no strings attached sex, or casual sex with only the very hottest of women and men. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To explore some sort of fantasy that you have?

In fact, this brings me nicely to my first fact about adult dating that will keep you up at night… Let’s jump right on in!

1 – You can explore the very depths of your (and their) fantasies!

NSA or casual sex don’t require all the fluff and frills that regular sex and “dating” brings with it. You don’t need to impress anyone, except for in the bedroom, and for a lot of people, women in particular, sex with someone you don’t really have any intentions of seeing again can put a hold on may inhibitions that they may have had.

I never tried anal sex until my third ever NSA experience. I had met a super hot guy in a New Brighton bar in Port Elizabeth, and we had a few drinks together. I carried on drinking and dancing with my female friends for a while and at the end of the night, he came over and asked me if I wanted to go for a couple of drinks in another bar. We never made it to that other bar… In fact, we ended up at my place just around the corner.

I had been a little tipsy and the moment took us both and I let him do it… It opened some flood gates for me, and I found I actually quite enjoyed it, but I do believe I wouldn’t have ever done it if it hadn’t been for that night… or that guy! 😉

2 – It’s simpler.

It really is. When you go into a new sexual dalliance with someone that you have no expectations of, and don’t want a relationship with, you’ll generally find that the sex is pretty awesome. There’s a lot less in the way of nerves and if it all goes wrong, who cares? You don’t need to see this person again if you don’t want to. There are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say.

3 – Online opens more doors!

If you thought you were successfully at casual NSA dating now, wait until you have tried your hands at the internet dating world. Yes, that’s right – there are a whole bunch of websites that are designed to help you find the perfect date tonight, NSA fun or not. A few minutes signing up and you will be able to scroll your way through a whole bunch of hotties, giving you more options than ever before! Check out lookingforsex.co.za – lots of sexy ZA men and women looking for sex meets and the like.

4 – Meet in public!

This should go without saying really, but if you find yourself a hot date for tonight and plan on having a good time, make sure that you always meet in an open place, in broad daylight, and your friends know where you are going, what you are doing, and where you plan to be heading later on. Safety is key. It’s not rocket science stuff.

5 – The more you learn, the better it’ll be.

That’s right – the more questions you ask her, and the more you try to learn, the more you will learn. This applies to the women out there too – the more questions you ask, the better things will be. Everyone likes something a little different in the bedroom, so you need to take into account that the partner you are enjoying tonight won’t be the same as the partner you enjoyed last night, or last weekend. “Do you like this?” is a good one to ask when trying something new. They’ll soon let you know what the deal is!

6 – Be open minded!

Remember that a lot of people choose to enjoy a lot of different things in the bedroom, so as well as being able to learn and open your mind to new ideas and sexual experiences, you may come across things that you won’t like all that much. For example, if they want to pop a finger into your bum and you’ve never done it before, and don’t want to do it, you have a big decision to make. Never feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do, but at the same time, make sure that you try your hands at something new every once in a while. It won’t hurt! (Much!)

7 – Boyfriends/Girlfriends are out!

I’ll make things simple for you – NSA and casual sex means NOT acting like a boyfriend or a girlfriend. The person you have in your bed right now is more than likely having sex with more than just you, and is likely to leave your bed tonight and find another bed to climb into tomorrow, or next weekend. If you’re the jealous kind, NSA fun probably won’t work for you. There’s a good chance that this WON’T develop into a relationship, regardless of how great your sex is, so save yourself the heartache and remember that this is for your sex life, not your love life!