We all make mistakes in the dating world – that’s the whole point of it. You make mistakes and learn from them, going on ahead to have better, more fulfilling relationships and sexual dalliances. That’s the idea anyway… Many of us simply don’t learn from our mistakes.
As a 30-something woman living in South Africa, I have made many dating mistakes, especially on my quest to find someone cool and casual to date. In between enjoying the sun, exploring my beautiful country, trying to maintain a busy working schedule and still having enough time to see the family and keep them happy, I don’t really have time for a “real” relationship. This is the thing about casual dating – it’s not the same as “real” dating, as in dating to find that happy-ever-after… That’s something I wish someone would have told me right at the beginning.
As a single woman, having a fair amount of sexual partners will get you branded with some rather nasty names. This is the first lesson you learn – the first mistake that a lot of men and women make when they delve into the complicated world of casual sex dating. Who’d have thought that sex would have been just as political as relationships?
This is the first lesson you should learn – be discreet!
What’s the point in shouting about last night’s conquest? You may have met that beautiful man in the Cape Town city center night club and taken him home, but you probably won’t have any intentions of seeing him again, so what’s the point in talking about it? It’s certainly not something you are going to want to bring up with your family or respectable friends… casual dating is something that not everyone accepts.
The second lesson you should learn – broaden your horizons!
I’ve mentioned meeting a guy in a bar and having a great night with him, but there are so many other places that you can meet men (and women) looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex in South Africa. For example, there are a whole host of websites dedicated to finding horny men and women the partner they are looking for… without all the hassle of being open and honest about what they are actually looking for. If you are both on a nsa sex dating site, you are both looking for casual dating, AKA casual sex. What’s the point in opting for the “regular” run-of-the-mill dating websites? You aren’t looking for love, you’re looking for great sex, right?
You could meet the hottest, cutest men and women in the biggest and best South African nightclubs, bars and pubs, but let’s be honest about this; no man is going to openly admit to a woman on the first night they have met that he is just looking for sex tonight. To be honest, the chances of a female offering the same information on the “first date” is slim to none. At least with these casual sex and casual dating websites, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. There are no misinterpretations, no misread signs, and no mixed messages.
There are a lot of things about casual dating and casual sex relationships that aren’t like “regular” relationships, and this is often overlooked information when you attempt to try your hand at it for the first few times. The trick is to be discreet, be classy and above all else, have fun. What’s the point in doing it otherwise? 😉