With thousands of people looking for NSA sex, its time to look at what really works about it… what really turns them on!
These days, we don’t have time for proper relationships, right? We have busy work schedules to try and maintain, family to see, places to explore, people to see, etc. By the time most of us have come home from work, cooked ourselves a spot of dinner, and had a shower, it’s so late, the only thing left to do is crawl into bed at the end of a long day, and enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep. Well,… that’s what we try to do anyway, right?
What about those people that don’t want to settle for crawling into bed alone at the end of a long day? What about those people that want someone to have great, fulfilling, passionate sex with at the end of a long day? If they don’t have time to fit in a relationship, does it mean that they don’t have time to fit in sex?
It hardly seems fair, does it?
Take Jane, for example. She works in busy Cape Town and needs to drive at least an hour to get home every night. She works five, sometimes six days per week, trying to better her career, and she doesn’t have any kids, and isn’t married. When she gets home on a Friday night, she isn’t looking for someone to cuddle up with, cook breakfast for in the morning, and have small talk with over brunch. She doesn’t have time for that. She’s looking for someone that she can use and abuse – someone that makes life easy for her. He’s in, he’s out, and no one is making anyone breakfast. That’s what she’s looking for… I asked her why?
“I use a casual dating website. It’s hard work finding guys in bars because once you tell them you are looking for NSA fun, they lose respect for you. I’m not degrading myself with casual sex… It’s fulfilling a need. Just like guys go to prostitutes!”
In Jane’s situation, NSA sex is a turn on because she gets exactly what she needs, without needing to worry about the relationship afterwards. She simply doesn’t have time for all that fluff.
Sandy, on the other hand, has plenty of time on her hands. She’s 30-something, works part time, doesn’t have any kids either, but isn’t looking for a relationship. She was married before but now, she wants to be young, free and single… while still enjoying the benefits of sex. Again, I asked her why she chose casual dating/sex?
“You can do whatever you want when you aren’t going to see the guy again. Even if you are, that’s all you want from each other – sex. You can do things that you wouldn’t have done with your husband or long term partner, and even if your casual partner does raise an eyebrow, you can pass them over and look for another one… It’s like fantasy fulfillment!”
In Sandy’s case, she was looking for someone to explore ALL of her sexual needs. She wanted to try all those things she never had the balls to try with her ex-husband – things like anal sex, exhibitionism and more. There’s a lot less pressure to do things the “right” way when you have no intentions of long term dating the person you are enjoying in the bedroom, and you will be more likely to have the kind of sex you want, rather then just having sex because you’re “meant to” in a partnership. She signed up with a site called girlsforsex.co.za – yeah right – no beating about the bush (excuse the pun) there then!
Of course, you can’t take into account the female perspective without taking into account the male one also. I spoke to one of Jane’s “conquests” and asked him what he liked about NSA sex… To be honest, the response was exactly what we thought it might be:
“NSA sex is perfect. You can have sex with multiple women. One woman might be great at giving head while another is great at doing it doggy style. You get the best of EVERY world – it’s as though there are no real limits!”
With more and more people opting for more casual styles of dating all over the world and not just within South Africa, it makes sense that more and more casual dating debits are popping up. After all, there wouldn’t be a demand for them otherwise, would there? Why not have a look yourself and see what naughty stuff you can get up to?